Monday, July 2, 2012


Pleasure of Pain

Love is not enough with you,
That sugar-coated love,
That over-rated love,
It does not define us,
Come; walk out through the darkness of love
And hurt me this time,
Elate me, agitate me,
Defeat me, destroy me,
The tender touch of love,
My skin won’t sense it
Agonise me in love,
that’s all my heart feels,
Leave my wounds exposed,
And let it worsen up
I find solace in this pain.
Let the suffering be a part
of my being,
Never take that away,
or substitute it with love,
Peace lies in pain,
Never coated with sugar,
not defined in degrees,
Never misread,
or interpreted wrong,
Without hopes, without dreams,
This is the way,
I want your essence to stay this way,
So devoid me of myself,
And fill me up with you,
I won’t shed a tear then,
Even a drop of you,
I won’t lose,
like I lost myself in that moment.
Let the time fly back
to that moment,
When I was you,
And you were me,
Entwined with an ethereal sin,
A sin of our eternal love
Eternal ache,
My sacred sin,
That still connects us.

Sunday, June 17, 2012



Let's Have a Cup of Tea Together!!

A magnificent door, the familiar light, that whole panorama is drawing me towards it. I reach the door and it opens to a massive hall with wooden floor and vibrant walls. There are people inside, organized in a pattern, all dressed in white, with musical instruments and are about to play some music. As I enter, they turn towards me…like sunflowers turning towards the sun. I feel important, more contented and happier inside. They all look so alike, wearing the same mystic smile. I can distinguish a man dressed in black among them, but I can’t see his face..it is all so hazy.

In a fraction of second, the music sets off and I dance with graceful delight. Everything around me seems pleasant, at ease. The aroma of the room is so relaxing.. I dance like a bird.. They change the tune but I never stop.. That man in black..comes to me. I allow his eyes, to break through the core of my spirit. We dance together..his hand in mine; his touch..so angel-like. Tunes change, moods change; sorrow, romance, excitement, joy, thrill, boredom, tension, exhilaration… but we never stop.. With him, I could feel all the emotions differently….. I am feeling… ALIVE!!
Every other tune was fun with him.. but hell it’s still so hazy.

That was my morning dream!
Sundays are like that.. I spend all day lazing around. Alone in my house, I feel like a queen..people call me unsocial, and in a way they are right. I have got a bunch of old friends and they are the only ones I hang out with..on rare occasions.
 Lying down on my bed.. I could hear the pitter-patter of rain outside. Rain was another excuse for me to keep myself locked in. Looking through my window-pane, I could see the chain of drops flowing in a series, each one making way for the other.
Such occasions make me think about only one thing- ‘Sweet Tea’.

Text message on my phone: ‘Tea together?’
I felt like someone just sneaked into my mind. The message was from old friend of mine who lives in the same city. Though we don’t get to hang around too much, he is the best company I could have.

‘My place, in an hour’ :) .
That is how I ruined my own plan of staying alone like a queen. And now, you can’t call me a loner either.

He accompanied me in the kitchen. While I cooked some maggi, he managed the tea. He is usually pathetic when it comes to tea..he just can’t get the ingredients right. And the worst part, he won’t give up trying.
All this time in the kitchen, he would never stop talking. I wonder how some people have so much to talk about all the time. But I kind of like his company, because with him I can share every little secret; we chat, we laugh, we fight and most importantly I can be myself with him. I noticed, my house suddenly looked brighter in some strange way. The walls looked vibrant.

I sat beside the open wall-size window. I was silently looking at the drops that were falling in the balcony together.. in a rhythm. Every drop so alike, dressed up so identically. My train of thoughts took me to my dream where all those men, dressed identically in white, were playing for me. I found those drops smiling at me.
After a while my friend came up with maggi bowls and tea, and my thoughts again drifted towards his colleagues.. then his boss.. the new girl in his neighbourhood and what not. I filled him in with similar kind of stories that goes around in my office every other day.
We talked about different things; our goals and plans, ideas, movies, music, weather and I get amazed by how well we understand each other in small things, and find humour in toughest situations. How well we could dance together on different emotions that life offers…. and how important it is to reveal your beautiful or dull life-issues with someone who could see it exactly the way you do! My thoughts, several times took a flash of my morning dream and now I could relate myself to it.
My dream was in no way any sort of revelation of some mystery. After this moment, neither I was going to change anything between us on this ground, nor will I start looking at things differently. I was already aware of every little fact that my dream held, but then I was just amazed and secretly fascinated by the creatively of my sub-conscious mind, and how this sequence of events had perfectly matched with it.


‘What are you thinking about? You look lost!!’..  he broke the sudden silence conjuring me up from my world of contemplation.

Taking the last sip I replied with a witty smile ‘The tea was awful again’… 



Monday, February 20, 2012

And into that gate they shall enter, and in that house they shall dwell,
where there shall be no cloud nor sun,
no darkness nor dazzling,
but one equal light.
no noise nor silence,
but one equal music
no fears nor hopes,
but one equal possession
no foes nor friends,
but one equal communion and identity
no ends nor beginnings,
but one equal eternity.

-Sermon, John Donne, 1572-1631