Life Beyond Death

It has always been nice.. watching you sleep

wearing that innocence on your face.

It's the first night you're able to sleep

since I'm gone.

I see you lying on the chair

under the dark sky.

The Dark sky.. no moon..

just a million silver specks scattered all over.

Isn't it the same sky that showed up eight months before..!!

When we were sitting in the same backyard,

our feet swishing back and forth in the pool.

I had read somewhere, that

It is only a matter of moments..

As some moments bring you a love so intense that it justifies the rest of your life.

It was then that we both had realized..

That was it.. the MOMENT OF OUR LOVE..

As I watch you sleep,

a flicker of smile crosses your lips..

As if you read my mind

But you are dreaming..

I wonder what I could be doing in your dream

that has made you smile.

Am I doing the dishes that I hated to do,

and you loved to watch?

Or looking for my fuzzy blue slippers all over the house? (like I did every morning)

Am I arranging your favourite gerbera in flower vase?

Or just leaning on your shoulder in silence

listening to you as you talk?

I again wonder, how am I dreaming when

I am dead!!!

Am I allowed to dream.. to remember the joy of past?

And if I am, then for how long?

Would I be able to see him,

and feel his pain forever?

Or will just vanish in thin air

after some fixed span of time?

Am I supposed to find those answers here?

Or they are just meant to be left unanswered?

Flooded by such unrequited questions,

I stepped towards the door of our house.

Our home.. which now looks

hollow and crippled..

Holding the silence of a grave,

It is DEAD.. like me.

It's nothing more than a reminder of the way things ought to be.

The flashes of past, intensifies the reality of present.

My eyes are dead,

I can feel the pain but can't cry,

I can no more comfort you with my words,

I can only watch you suffer.

Death could not wither me,

but your tears,

your unrelenting pain is eating me inside.

No god can answer my prayer

I feel powerless and

incapable to share.

I can not draw you back

from the darkness of melancholy,

Don't grieve over your loss,

allow my image to fade away gradually.

What happened was decided, somewhere in heaven

long before we met,

I don't exist anymore

and you have a beautiful life ahead.

I can blow with the wind to dry up your tears,

I"ll help you fight away all your fears.

I'll rise with the morning sun and fall with the dew,

I can't live with you anymore

because I live within you..